A year without my husband is a miracle

I found this link from allafrican it goes thus....

A year ago, Dame Amina Yakowa, wife of late Kaduna State Governor, Patrick Ibrahim Yakowa, bAde her husband farewell as he proceeded on a journey to Bayelsa State. But he was involved in a fatal helicopter crash that claimed his life and that of General Owoeye Azazi (rtd), former National Security Adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan. In this interview with Reuben Buhari, she speaks on hIS last moments with HER, how SHE RECEIVED the news of his death and how the family has been coping since then. She also speaks on how she met her husband, their marital life, shared dreams, and his uncomplished plans

How would you describe your husband?

He was God-fearing and a good husband, father, grandfather, in-law, brother and friend. He was simple, decent and sincere. He was dedicated to his faith. He was upright, a man of conscience and easily accessible. He believes in fairness and justice and that forms part of the reason he was called Yakowa Nakowa. He is the most wonderful to me.

One year after his death, how have you been coping?

One year today, I can only say that it has been a miracle in my life. It is a miracle that I am staying without my husband today. It has been a challenging year; it's been a sober year. It has been a year of stock-taking and planning on how to continue living without my dear husband. But I am happy to tell you that the grace of God has been sufficient for me and the entire family and the Lord has been charting a new way for us and giving us the strength for it.

You got married to your husband in 1978, and what we heard was that when he saw you, he instantly told himself that he had gotten a wife. Was that how you met?

I actually met him for the first time during the wedding of his best friend Mr. Bulus James. His friend's wife, who is also late now, was my very close friend and I was the chief bride's maid for her at the wedding. My husband was part of the committee organizing the wedding of his friend, while I also was in the committee organizing the preparation for my friend. So in the course of the preparation, we met and that very day, as soon as he saw me, he instantly said to me that he had found a wife and the rest, like they say, is history. But I want to thank God that it has been a fruitful union.

December seems to always be a special month in your family. Your wedding was in December and your husband's birthday was also in December. Unfortunately, it also happened to be the month your husband died, but can you tell me those things that make the month special for the family?

Because he was born on the 1st of December, we always look forward to that month. It was also in December that we got married like you know. We always keep praying that work will excuse him so that he can be at home on his birthday. You need to see the level of preparations by all the family (members) toward the end of November because of the events in December and we keep hoping that he will be around. This is because he was always moving from one place to the other because of the various types of work he was engaged in. So, once it's November, we start preparing. The month is also special because of the Christmas celebration. So, what we do is to just combine the whole month into a festive season for the whole family.

Unfortunately, it was also the same month that the Lord decided to take him away. But I thank God that he permitted us to spend his birthday with him. That birthday was a special time for us because he told me that he wanted us to organize the second Christmas Carol in Government House and he wanted that carol to be special, where all segments of the state would be represented. He gave us a date and even the number of people he wanted to invite. He was particular about inviting some of our Muslim friends. He told me and the Government House Chaplain to really prepare well. He also gave us around 17th of that December as a date for the carol and so we were trying to put everything in place before the crash of 15th (December) scattered everything. It was a day that the light of the family went out. It was a difficult and emotional month for me but like I keep saying, to God be the Glory.

Your husband had always been seen as a symbol of humility. That character is also reflected in the family. What has been the secret?

When we first met, we noticed that we had certain characteristics. It was that characteristic that helped shaped our lives and that of our family. One of the first things that struck me when we met was his level of humility. I also found out that he was sincere and truthful. To show you how sincere he was, when we met and before we got married, he sat me down and told me everything about his family. He told me the suffering in the family and all the things that I may possibly see and experience in the family.

He did not pretend about anything and didn't hide anything. In fact, he took me to his house to see the kind of house they were living in. But I told him that, it was not about the house or the kind of family, but about him. It was also unique because he was from a polygamous family and he had lost his parent at a very tender age. Coupled with that, he was the bread winner of his family. When he told me all these, I also shared my own life experience with him and that was how we got married and been living our lives in simplicity and humility. Immediately we got married on the 23rd December, 1978, we sat down and planned on the type of family we wanted to have.

We had a dream of how our family should be because our childhood experience then wasn't too sweet and so we told ourselves that our children should not also suffer. He suffered as a child and I also suffered because I lost my father at a very tender age and I knew what my mother went through to nurture the seven of us. So what we did was to sit-down and dream about the family, the training they should have, the lessons we should ensure they learnt from us and even our close relationship with God which we will want them to share in. I thank God because God has helped us to have the type of family we planned for.

After being with him for years and sharing so many dreams, can you recollect any that he really wanted to achieve but died without achieving it?

The only dream he couldn't achieve was that of fully developing Kaduna. He really, really wanted to change a lot of things about the state. Even though it was a hot seat for him, but he was determined to effect developmental changes. He kept telling me that he really had a dream for Kaduna State and because of that he laid a solid foundation of what he wanted Kaduna to be at the end of his tenure, and I think that dream preoccupied his mind throughout the period that he lived. He knew how polarized Kaduna was and it was his dream that he should bring the people of Kaduna together, whether as Muslims, Christians, or from the North or South. He really wanted to reduce the level of differences that exists between and among so many people in the state, especially the metropolis. His dream was on how to bring the people together. He wanted to see the people of Kaduna co-existing peacefully.

Everything of his was on peace; he was a man of peace and he wanted everybody to unite and live at peace with each other. He was passionate about developing the state. That was one agenda that he kept trying to fulfill before death took him away.

Even the days before his death, he was seriously working on the 2013 budget. He slept with the budget and woke up with it. He was always looking at it and revising it. He kept telling me that he wanted to have a budget that could be fully implemented for the benefit of the state and that was why he took time to prepare it. He told me so much about what he wanted to achieve in the state. Even though he died early, but to God be the Glory, he laid the foundation for it. I can testify here that he did the best for the state. He has done the assignment God has given him within the period God had given him. He has completed the assignment, he has conquered and he is resting now.

So many people within and outside the state got the news of his death differently, how did you get the news and what was your initial reaction?

Let me start by saying that 1st December to the 15th of that same month that he died was full of activities for us. We had attended several activities in Kaduna and Abuja, but on Friday 14th December after I returned from Abuja, I wasn't feeling too well. Later on, I realized that I had cold and soon lost the ability to speak too loudly. But later that day in the evening, he told me that he wanted to attend a Christmas carol and requested that I accompany him. I however told him about my cold and the little fever it had given me, but surprisingly he said 'following me to this carols is the last thing I want you to do for me. I really want to go out with you. I then prepared myself and we went to the carol. It was JB Daudu's house, who was a close friend of my husband. When we got there, he immediately requested that tea should be brought to me, because of my situation. He took time to laugh and play with a lot of people there.

We got home later around 11pm and he told me to go to bed, but for him, he said that he was feeling as if the day had started for him, and wanted to work a bit more. Consequently he went to the office close to his room and continued to work on some papers. Already, he had told me that he would be traveling to Bayelsa the next morning and I thought he would simply go to bed since he needed to be up early. Very early on the morning of 15th December, he woke up early as usual, dressed for the trip and told me that he was about to go. He also told me to join him in Abuja on Sunday for the thanksgiving service of the first lady at the Villa.

He then instructed me to switch off my phone and rest. He said if I don't switch off, the calls coming through will not allow me to rest. He added that, I should only switch it on around 4pm when he will call to find out about my body. I did that. I also took some drugs and slept off again. Around 1pm, I woke up and decided to get some food so I could take the afternoon drug. I went to the kitchen, got something and was about going back to my room, when my sister in-law came in with another woman, who was also her sister-in-law.

The woman actually came in to thank me for a favour that I did to her. While we were talking, her phone rang and she conversed for some time with the person at the end of the line. We started talking and her phone rang again. By then I was getting a bit annoyed because I really wanted to go back and rest because of my body. But her phone again rang, that was when I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing, I asked her who has been calling her, and she said something like, I don't even know him.

But I noticed her facial expression had changed. When her phone rang again, I heard her saying to the person that she is even in Government House and with me. I then asked her why she will be broadcasting that she is with me, when I wanted to really go and rest. She then asked me where my husband had gone to. I became annoyed and said does the telephone you are answering have anything to do with my husband? She said no, then I asked her why are you asking for my husband? But she kept quiet. She actually seemed a bit confused.

But while we were discussing, I saw my husband's Chief of Staff and a group of senior aides climbing the stairs to my private room upstairs. That was unusual because they have never done it. I also noticed that the moment they came close to me, the woman I was with hurriedly left. I knew instantly that something was wrong, but I didn't know exactly what it was. What I did was to look at the Chief of Staff straight in the eyes and said to him, 'we have come a long way with you, you are a brother, you are part of my family, just tell me if there is anything, whatever it is I know God will take control, but definitely all is not well. So there is no way he could hide anything from me. The Chief of Staff told me that there was a helicopter crash and my husband was involved.

The next thing I asked him was whether there was any survivor?

Nobody could answer me and they all turned and left crying. After they left, I quickly went back to my room, closed the door knelt down and prayed. I told God to give me the grace and strength to take what ever it was. While I was in my room, I suddenly heard them furiously knocking on my door. They actually thought I had gone into my room to harm myself, not knowing that I was praying. I opened the door and saw all of them looking at me. I decided to go downstairs, and as I was entering the main sitting room, I saw the Director of SSS, the Coordinator of Operation Yaki and so many other people, some crying and others just looking at me. That was when I knew that nobody survived the helicopter crash.

What are you now doing?

Nothing much, just taking care of my children, grandchildren and fully involving myself with my NGO, Kauna Initiative.